Mistakes
by CrystalHikariHikachu
Summary: Clary is a country girl with a past of her own. She just wants to sleep and forget about it all, but her nightmares won't leave her. Jace is a city boy who is only looking for trouble. Jace is willing to destroy himself to make the pain go away. Both have made mistakes that they don't know how to deal with. Clace. SimonxIsabelle
1. Chapter 1

**_!PLEASE READ!_**

**_First thing's first. The nicknames. I have never read a fic where these particular names were used. I've heard Goldie Locks and Pipi, Casanova and Spitfire, Cowardly Lion, Firewire, Red, Strawberry Shortcake. I've even heard Clary referred to as Little Bit (Which is my dogs name and what my cousin calls me) but I've never ever seen these two nicknames. I've read ddpjclaf's Turbulence and Covert Casanova and saw her rant at the beginning of one of her chapters and I want to make this very clear; I thought long and hard about these nicknames so please, if you decided to use them after reading this give me credit. And if you thought about them first I didn't steal them I thought of it all on my own. (Just so happens I love that book and movie) Thank you. _**

**_Also this is my first non-OC story. I've never had to envelope myself in a certain character before and I'm not quite sure how I plan on doing it, but I've got the first few chapter planned out. Also tell me how I'm doing. This is the first Clace fic I'm writing and I'm hoping to make it a good one. I've read so many and thought I would add to them, but anyways you all want to get onto the story. (Wow I never write super long into author's notes. *pats self on back* I'm getting better at this) Anyways story time .  
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_The full moon was high over head, casting pale light onto a large farm that sat just outside of Idris. A girl with bright red curls was leading a mare and her colt out to a corral for the night. Something her father had asked her to do, for some unknown reason. The rest of the horses were in the stables munching on their dinner and these two were to be left outside. Clary didn't dwell on this too much. She did as she was asked, and was expected to without question. She had just made it into the corral and shut the gate behind them as she began to take of the lead ropes. _

_"Clary! Foods done!" A voice called from the house. It was her mother telling her to hurry. She left the lead ropes on a post inside the gate. She slammed the gate shut behind her, knowing it would close from the force and ran back to the house as fast as her legs could carry her. She was on the porch a moment later and her mother smiled at her. The soft yellow glow from the porch light causing their hair to look more orange than red. Clary cast a second glance back to the corral, the gate was shut before she entered the house. _

Clary sat upright in her bed. Sweat making her unruly curls look even worse. She sighed and laid her head back down. The clock next to her bed innocently said 5:56. Clary groaned and sat up once more. The sky was barely lit by the coming sunrise and Clary would not be able to force herself back to sleep. She forced her self from the sanctuary known as her bed and into her en-suite bathroom. She turned the hot water on using her hand to check if the temperature was right. She discarded her pajamas before stepping into the shower. She tamed her curls and stepped out of the shower as she wrapped a fluffy black towel around her chest. She shuffled around her room to get dressed in a pair of dark blue boot cut jeans and a shirt Simon had given her for her seventeenth birthday that said **Fear not. I'm a Country Girl**. Clary pulled a black and white plaid button down on over it. She rolled up the sleeves to her elbows and went to de-frizz her mop of a head.

After brushing the curls and adding a heap of got2b's glossy Anti-Frizz serum they looked presentable to the general public. **(AN I love this stuff it works wonders) **Clary pulled on a pair of black Chucks and headed for the kitchen. She only heard silence and let out a sigh. Her mother didn't get up early anymore to cook breakfast like she used to on the farm. Now she slept in until the kids were off to school to make her and Luke breakfast.

"Hey kiddo," Luke called from the living room where he had been reading. A copy of Stephen King's The Stand was laying on the coffee table.

"Hey Luke. I couldn't sleep," Clary told him as she began to make herself some cereal.

"Excited?" Luke asked as he came into the kitchen to pour himself another cup of coffee.

"No," Clary huffed and shook her head with a shaky breath.

"Worried?" Luke asked again.

"Kinda. I mean it's the same thing as always. What if the teachers don't like me? What if the students are _complete imbeciles_? They're all going to be super _rich kids_ with _nice_ cars and _perfect_ hair. I really hope some of them _at least have a brain_," Clary told Luke quietly. She didn't want to wake her mother or Simon up just yet. She just wanted the day to pass quickly, for no one to talk to her so that she could just come home and go right back to bed. She heard a door upstairs open and close, then the shower turned on. Simon was up. Clary finished her cereal then put the bowl in the sink after looking at the clock that stated 6:45. She walked upstairs and put on what little make-up she wore everyday. Beige cream eyeshadow, brown eyeliner, light bronzer, and clear lip gloss. She assessed her over all appearance before walking back down the stairs.

"You feel ready for this?" Luke asked from the couch in the living room where he'd been before. Clary went and sat next to him, laying her head on his shoulder.

"Does it really matter?" She asked him without a second thought.

"I guess not," Luke shrugged as he put his arm around her shoulders and gave her a hug. "But you'll fit right in," He told her and Clary forced herself to nod. The bathroom door swung open up stairs and Clary heard Simon descending the stairs. Clary turned to see her awkward 'brother' making his way toward the kitchen with a goofy smile on his face. Jocelyn had adopted Simon soon after marrying Luke when Clary was 10. They had been best friends since the day Jocelyn had told her they were going to be siblings.

"Clare-bear? Is there anything good to eat in here?" Simon asked.

"Lucky Charms, or the dust bunnies under the counter," She told him and he chuckled. Clary removed herself from Luke's side and sat at the breakfast bar while Simon fixed him a bowl of Lucky Charms.

"So about those dust bunnies?" Simon said suggestively while raising one of his eyebrows causing Clary to laugh. He was wearing a black T-shirt that said **Made in Brooklyn** under a jean jacket. Clary watched as Simon pushed his brown hair out of his face and concentrated on finding a spoon in the silverware drawer. They had been best friends they'd been brother and sister. They got along better than most siblings. Clary cast a glance at the clock and it said 7:05.

"Hurry up and eat. We need to leave soon," Clary told him as she ran to grab her backpack and her gray messenger from her room. Her backpack was green with doodles all over it in Sharpie, she'd had the backpack since her ninth grade year. She grabbed the keys to her Nissan off her dresser and checked her hair one last time. When she came back down the stairs Simon was still eating. She sat down on a bar stool once more and received a questioning look from Simon.

"What's up?" He asked as he began drinking the milk from the bowl.

"Just nervous," She told him and he nodded.

"I'll be right there next to you Fray," Simon smiled at her.

"I know you will be," She shook her head and took a deep breath. "Let's just get going," Clary told him and he tossed his bowl in the sink.

"Gotcha," He ran back upstairs and came back a moment later with his black backpack.

"Be good," Luke tried to sound stern then started chuckling. Clary fought the urge to tell him no.

"Can do," Simon smiled as he walked out the front door, Clary trailing behind him. She unlocked her black Nissan and put her bag in the backseat. She backed out of the driveway and sped off toward school. Hoping that no one was a car fanatic and noticed her car. To her dismay, she didn't get her wish. People stared at her as she found a parking space and Clary sighed.

"Here we go," She breathed.

"Should of asked for your mom's car," Simon laughed. Clary shook her head as she got out of the car.

"Is that a 1999 Nissan-" Clary cut the boy off. His brown eyes wide at the sight of her prize.

"Skyline GTR-R34. Yeah it is," Clary smirked, she hated when people would stare but loved to talk about the car.

"Could I.. um.." He seemed nervous and Clary wanted to roll her eyes.

"I have class," She locked the car and walked away from him, Simon on her heels with both of their backpacks. Clary loved cars, despite growing up on a farm. Her uncle was a mechanic and she remembered helping him working on cars when she was little, it was one of her favorite past time. It was at that moment that she saw something she would never forget. The most beautiful thing she'd ever laid eyes on. A flat black 1970 Dodge Charger was facing her and Clary almost stopped to stare. She'd loved the car since the first Fast and Furious movie was released. The lovely appearance of the car was tarnished by a couple making out on the hood, more than likely putting a dent in it. Clary rolled her eyes. The boy obviously owned the car, wearing a black leather jacket and white t-shirt. He let go of the Asian girl in his arms and pulled away from her, pushing his hair out of his eyes. Clary strangely thought he could double as Ponyboy from the Outsiders.

"Darwin would be rolling in his grave," Simon murmured.

"So would the Dodge Brothers," Clary said shaking her head.

Clary made her way into the school and began searching for her and Simon's first period Chemistry class. Once they found it they both took a seat at the back of the room. When the bell rang Clary put her head on her desk wanting nothing more than to go back to sleep. She heard people coming into the classroom one by one.

"Did you see that Skyline?" A boy asked coming in the room.

"Yeah I wonder how they got it through customs. Unless its here illegally," Another boy said.

"Then why would someone drive it to school?" The first boy asked. Clary glanced up at the boys, both had black hair. One was wearing a football jersey for the school and the other was in a plain gray T-shirt.

"I bet they got up to code, otherwise it wouldn't be here," The football player stated. The other boy went silent and took a seat. Clary should have known the car would demand attention. These rich kids were drooling over it, since it was illegal here in the US.

"Cheer up Clare-bear," Simon poked her from his seat to her left.

"I just want to go home. Go back to sleep," She griped.

"I know but you can't. Now wake up," Simon poked her again, and she lifted her head to glare at him. It was at that moment when Ponyboy walked in with his girlfriend. Clary rolled her eyes as he sat down behind the football player. The bell screamed that it was time to start class and their teacher walked in. A middle aged man, his hair thin and gray. He was tall and somewhat lanky from Clary's seat. He wore suit and was holding a clip board to his chest.

"Hello and welcome to Chemistry 2, I'll be your professor for the year, Mr. Penhallow," He gave a strained smile and began calling roll. "Clarissa Fray?"

"Clary and here," She answered.

"Simon Fray,"

"Here" Simon answered. Simon had changed his name when he was adopted so that life would be a bit easier. He continued to call a few more names before Clary paid any attention.

"Jonathan Christopher Herondale?" The first two names hit Clary harder than she thought they would. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath before opening them again.

"Jace and here," Ponyboy raised his hand. The teacher wrote his name down and continued, but Clary wasn't listening. People were just raising their hands.

"Isabelle Lightwood?" A girl with pin straight black hair rose her hand.

"Here," she said. She looked like a super model.

"Aline Penhallow.. here" He didn't wait for her to answer and Clary wanted to roll her eyes.

"Caleb Trueblood?"

"Here," The boy who'd been talking to the football player answered him now.

"Sebastian Verlac?"

"Here," The football player answered.

"Good now that all of you are here I can pass out a syllabus," He gave the stack of papers to Ponyboy and told him to pass them out. When he handed Clary a paper he smiled at her.

"Enjoy the view this morning?" He asked suggestively.

"Yeah. I love the paint job on your car, but I would have gone with white," She told him with a smile. He was taken back by her comment and handed Simon a paper before turning to go back up the aisle. Simon chuckled lowly.

"Narcissistic isn't he?" He asked.

"Yeah," Clary rolled her continued on quickly as did the rest of her day until she arrived in her advanced dance class fourth period. She changed into her dance clothes, boy shorts and a tank top, and waited for the rest of the class to come out. The girl from Chemistry came out, the super model, Clary couldn't exactly remember her name, but she came up to Clary with a smile.

"I didn't take you for much of a dancer," The girl smiled, trying not to be offensive.

"Eleven years," Clary smiled and began stretching.

"I'm Isabelle by the way," She smiled at Clary as she began stretching as well.

"Clary," She stated her own name.

"Oh I know who you are. Word gets around school pretty fast," Clary thought she was talking about her car. "I mean come on, your brother is totally hot," Isabelle told her and Clary almost started choking. Clary laughed at this point. She doubled over almost crying.

"You mean Simon? Nerd with the brown hair?" Clary asked.

"Yeah," Isabelle seemed taken back by Clary's reaction.

"I've never heard anyone call him that," Clary laughed again. She stretched again and shook her head.

"Really?" Isabelle seemed shocked.

"He just grew like a foot over the summer now everyone thinks he's hot," Clary chuckled at the last word.

"Well he is," Isabelle spoke again as the teacher came in. They began with stretches and the beginnings of a routine before they all had to shuffle into the dressing room to change. Her dance class covered her gym, so she didn't have to worry about gym. Clary made her way to lunch and found Simon among the bodies.

"You will never guess what I heard?" Clary stated as she sat next to her brother.

"What? Something about your car?" He asked rolling his eyes as he took a bite out of a pb&j sandwich.

"Nope. About you," Clary pointed to the male in question while popping the 'p'.

"What?" She had caught Simon's interest now.

"People here apparently find you very attractive," Clary chuckled and Simon looked at her wide eyed.

"You lie," He took a bite out of his sandwich again.

"No, I heard it from a very reliable source. A very cute girl," Clary smiled at him.

"Who was it," Simon asked and Clary rolled her eyes.

"I can't tell you that," Clary wasn't going to give Izzy up.

"Yeah, whatever," Simon rolled his eyes. Just then a girl with shoulder length brown hair came over and blushed before turning around and almost running back to her friends.

"You were saying?" Clary gave Simon a knowing look.

"Whatever Fray," Simon turned back to his food. She nudged him with her elbow and he looked at her with a raised eyebrow. "What? Are you going to tell me I'm going to be rich when I get older? Because I won't believe that one. Or am I going to be a rat?" Simon smirked at Clary.

"No I was going to say 'you have peanut butter on your chin' but I guess I'll let you walk around with it like that," Clary rolled her eyes and began on her own sandwich.

Clary couldn't wait for this day to be over.

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_**Okay Sooooo. Clary is calling Jace Ponyboy because in the book/movie The Outsiders Ponyboy bleaches out his hair and it reminds her of Jace. It's one of my favorite books so please don't hate me!** **I love you all.**_

_**Please review. **_

_**Crystal Hikari Hikachu **_


	2. Chapter 2

_**Thank you all for the reviews. I must say the readers of the Mortal Instruments fandom are the most loyal. I love you all.**_

_**So I have been doing alot of research on the movie.. Dear god. I'm having mixed emotions. But from what I've read Jamie is exactly like Jace and Cassie Clare says its really weird. Jamie describes Jace as a total douche bag (which I find funny because they are basically the same person) not a meat head, but he's sarcastic and rude. Even Lily says that Jamie IS Jace. I find this hard to believe and we will have to see when the movie comes out. I'll try to keep you guys updated on the movie as well ^~^**_

_**Please enjoy and if you have any guesses on Clary's nickname I would love to hear it. Hehe. **_

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Clary didn't know what to expect from the rest of her day. Lunch had been a complete waste. She sat down at a random desk in her English class, only to see Ponyboy come in a moment later. This time a different girl was under his arm. _So he's just a player. _Clary thought as she rolled her eyes.

Clary just let out a sigh and waited for class to start. Simon wasn't here for her to joke with so she decided to keep her mouth shut. After this she had Art, a free period and her pre-calculus class. She hoped the rest of the day would pass quickly. She knew it wouldn't though. She gave another sigh and put her head on her desk once more.

"Clarissa Fray?" The woman at the front of the room asked.

"Here," Clary lifted her head with a glare. The teacher continued calling out names and Clary almost fell asleep until someone tapped her on the shoulder. She looked up to see Ponyboy staring down at her.

"Well get up. I don't have all day," he rolled his eyes.

"Well I have all the time in the world," Clary shot back and took a piece of paper from him.

"This is a list of books that you will have to read by the end of the semester. Now if you have already read these books, congratulations. Now you just have to write reports on each one," The woman, Clary hadn't caught her name, spoke out and turned to take a seat at her desk. Clary shot a glance at the books on the list.

The Outsiders by SE Hinton  
Kite Runner by Khaled Hosseini  
1984 by George Orwell  
Macbeth by Shakespeare  
The Great Gatsby by F Scott Fitzgerald  
Lord of The Flies by William Golding  
Of Mice and Men by John SteinbeckDeath of A Salesman by Arthur Miller

Clary looked over the list a had read five of the eight. She smiled to herself and thanked Luke for owning a few bookstores. She had never been fond of reading until her mom married Luke. Luke was always content as long as he had a book. When Clary had first wanted to read for pleasure she had picked up Great Expectations. She had thrown the book down when she couldn't understand. Luke had been standing there watching her and picked the book up from the floor. "I'll help you understand it Clary," He had said.

Clary was ripped from her memories as the bell shrieked that it was time for class to end. Clary shoved the piece of paper in her bag and hurried toward the art room. When she entered the room she was surprised to see her mother standing in front of her. She wore an apron like she did when she was painting at home.

"Mom?" Clary asked, her heart beating erratically in her chest. Her mother was not a teacher. Her mother was not a teacher.

"Hey, Clary," Jocelyn smiled. Her red curls were spun into a bun atop her head.

"What are you doing here?" Clary's eyes were wide, like a deer caught in headlights.

"I told you I found a job teaching art, didn't I?" Jocelyn was trying to play it off as no big deal.

"You didn't tell me you were going to be teaching at the high school," Clary didn't want her mom here.

"Well Clary, here I am. Teaching here gives us a great salary. With Luke opening up a new store and me working here, baby life will be a lot easier," Jocelyn was trying to reason with her.

"For you," Clary shook her head an took a seat as far away from her mother as possible. More people were coming into the room, but Clary was watching them carefully. _Would they make fun of her for being the teachers daughter? Would they even notice?_ It wasn't until Ponyboy entered the room did she feel her heart pounding against her ribs. _Was she nervous of what he would think of her? No. That didn't make any sense. She hated him. He was a pig. Nothing more than a womanizer. Right?_ Clary shook her head as her mother started talking. Introducing herself and what she would ask of them this year.

Clary pulled her sketch book out of her bag and flipped to a blank page. She didn't want to think about what her mother was saying at the moment. Clary just wanted to curl up into a ball and decompose before anyone found out they were related. She glanced at the clock in the room and class was creeping by. It seemed as if she wouldn't get a break. It was only the first day and she already hated everyone.

Clary waited 45 agonizing minutes for the bell to ring, and she was out the door before the bell had cut off. Simon was exiting a class across the hall and rushed after her, knowing something was wrong.

"Clare? What's wrong?" Simon asked as he grabbed her arm and spun her towards him.

"Mom is the art teacher," Clary spoke through gritted teeth.

"Really?" Simon was as shocked as Clary was.

"Yeah," Clary paused, remembering she had a free period. "What class are you going to?" Clary asked.

"I have a free period," Simon told her and Clary smiled.

"Come on, we're going to get something to eat," Clary pulled Simon out to her car. Clary didn't know if they were allowed to leave campus during free periods but at that moment she was desperate to get away. She peeled out of the parking lot without looking to see if anyone was behind her. She found a McDonalds near by and pulled into a parking space.

"Clare-bear? Is something else bothering you?" Simon asked, sounding very much like Jonathan.

"Just the same old stuff Si," Clary grabbed her purse before locking the car. The siblings hurried inside to order their food. They ate in silence and the silence only irritated Clary more.

"I'm sorry I'm being a total bitch Si," Clary apologized.

"You just need to get laid," Simon winked at her and this made Clary laugh.

"Yeah because that fixes everything," Clary rolled her eyes, sticking a french fry in her mouth.

"It usually helps you let out all the stored up anger," Simon told her with a smirk.

"How would you know? You're a virgin," Clary gave him a pointed look. Simon laughed this time and winked at her.

"You don't know everything Clary," Simon said as he went to throw away their trash. Clary just sat there, her mouth hanging open. Simon sat back down and smirked at her again.

"When? Who?" Clary demanded as she began to think coherent thoughts again.

"A year ago, that blonde girl I dated for a few months," Simon told her and Clary's mouth dropped open again. How had he forgotten to tell her.

"I can't believe you didn't tell me," Clary tried to sound offended.

"Well you didn't come running to me when you lost yours," Simon smirked at her, knowing she was happy.

"We should get back," Clary stood from her chair and Simon did the same.

"Don't want detention on the first day," Simon chuckled. They returned back to school with fifteen minutes left to their free period and they separated.

Clary sat in her pre-cal class and it was going by quickly. Since she'd gotten away from the school for a few minutes she felt much better. Maybe it was all the grease in the burger she'd eaten. Before she knew it the bell rang dismissing her from school and Clary couldn't wait to get out of the parking lot again. She threw her book into her locker and slammed the door shut before hurrying out to her car. She should have known people would have been crowded around, waiting for the driver to appear. When she met up with Simon they braved the crowd together.

"Don't worry Clare, they're just jealous," Simon smiled at her. Clary nodded and went to the driver's side door, unlocking it with her key.

"_You_ drive _that_?" The football player from English, Sebastian, almost sneered.

"Yeah. I do," Clary glared at the jock. She climbed in and turned on the engine. The car hummed and Clary waited for Simon to get in the car. As he shut the door Clary shifted up and peeled out, causing Sebastian to stare wide eyed after her.

"Damn," Sebastian muttered to himself. Clary couldn't stop the smirk creeping up her lips. She enjoyed showing people up.

"Now back home so I can sleep," Clary sighed and Simon laughed at her.

"Sure what ever makes you feel better. We could camp out in the living room and watch Star Wars," Simon suggested and Clary thought about it for a long moment. Maybe a nerd night is what she needed.

"Yeah let's do that," Clary smiled as she headed towards home.

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**_I didn't get rid of Simon's nerdy side. I promise. Anyways Review and favorite for me. _**

**_Love you all,_**

**_Crystal Hikari Hikachu_**


	3. Chapter 3

_**Okay so I will once again state that the Mortal Instruments fandom is the most loyal. I love you guys so much.**__**Hopefully we get more insight into that nightmare this chapter and maybe Clary's nickname. hehehe. God I feel so evil, but this is the first story I'm planning out so I guess we'll see how it works out for me. **_

_**Warning! Language is colorful at points. Don't report me for a GD. 'Kay?**_

_**On to Ponyboy!**_

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Clary collapsed on the couch with a large black fleece blanket while Simon put in one of the Star Wars movies. They were staring with The Phantom Menace. Clary sighed as Simon sat on the couch next to her. She cuddled into his side, her head on his shoulder and his arm around her shoulders. Slowly she found herself exactly where she'd wanted to be all day, at home asleep.

_There was yelling. It hurt Clary's ears. She couldn't focus on what was being said. Everything around her looked foggy, like looking through a frosted window. Figures moved around on the other side of the glass. More yelling ensued and Clary was beginning to panic. Her breathing was becoming more erratic, her heart was pounding in her chest. _

_"Please, no," She whispered to herself. She wanted the pressure on her chest to cease. It hurt, crushing her lungs, making her want to scream, but at the moment she could barely breathe. She was hyperventilating. He breaths were coming in short gasps, it was getting harder for her to think. _

_A gun shot rang out._

_Clary heard Jocelyn scream._

_Clary sunk to the hard wood floor, her arms wrapped around herself protectively. Like she could shield herself from the memory. She wished she could forget. Wished she didn't have these nightmares. _

Clary was ripped from her dream by Simon gently getting up, the first movie had ended. Clary sat up and wiped her eyes, trying to wake herself up.

"Sleep well?" Simon asked.

"No," Clary didn't want to elaborate and Simon wouldn't push her to. That's what she liked about Simon, he would take what you gave him and not push for anything else.

"Alright," Simon closed the DVD player and plopped back down on the couch.

Clary closed her eyes and her vision was filled with gold. Amber eyes, bronze skin and golden hair. A masterpiece laid before her and she felt her fingers prickle with the urge to draw. A boy, all golden with pure wing of fire, an angel meant just for her. She paused for a moment wondering if she had really thought of that. Ponyboy,? An angel? Definitely not. A demon maybe, but he was no angel. Though she tried to stray away from these images, an angel still found it's way into her subconscious. The hard lines of a muscular chest and defined stomach. The swells of his biceps and shoulders vivid in her mind. She shook her head and sighed. What was she doing? Swooning over a guy who had only talked to her once?

Clary stood and ran to her room to grab her sketch book. She closed her eyes for a moment to picture him as an angel once more, but the image wouldn't come to her. Maybe she didn't need to draw him. Maybe she needed to focus on more important things.

Clary huffed out a sigh and Simon looked at her concerned. She was staring at a blank page in her sketch book wishing for that vivid image again. She sighed again and Simon rose an eyebrow.

"Clary? Are you okay?" He asked.

"Yes...no.." Clary sighed and put her head in her hands. She had a feeling in the pit of her stomach, something squeezing and stabbing, telling her to shut up. She complied and nodded her head. Throwing her sketch book on the coffee table. "Hey Si?" Clary looked at her brother who had finally turned back to the TV.

"Yeah Clare?"

"You wanna go out to trails? Ride our horses?" Clary asked.

"But it's already six," Simon said double checking his phone.

"And?" Clary didn't see the big deal.

"We have school tomorrow," Simon reasoned.

"All the more reason for us to go," Clary smiled standing up.

"Fine, let's go get dressed in appropriate riding attire," Simon motioned to the stairs as he turned to TV off. Clary hurried up the stairs and into her room. She hadn't been to the stables in a week and she wanted to get back to Sodapop, her horse. She pulled on a pair of worn skinny jeans and her riding boots before braiding her hair down each side. Clary stared into her mirror for a moment. Her freckles stood out against her frighteningly pale skin. He green eyes seemed dull and her hair was as wild as ever. She met Simon in the hallway and they walked out to her car together.

"Mom and Luke are out. Date night," Simon clarified as Clary stared at the empty parking spot for a moment.

"Date night for all of us," Clary joked.

"Yeah. Horse manure and dark trails. So romantic," Simon spoke sarcastically.

"Yeah," Clary laughed as she turned up the radio. Say This Sooner by The Almost was playing on her radio and Clary smiled as she sang along. It took twenty minutes to get to the stables from their new house and when Clary stepped out of her car she took a deep breath. Fresh cut hay and the smell of greenery made her feel like she was safe. She walked into the barn and smiled at the stable keeper in the corner.

"They've been good, haven't they?" Clary asked the guy, short black hair in his early twenties.

"Soda and Johnny Cakes have been a little uneasy the past couple days, they missed you guys," He stated.

"Did they now?" Clary asked as she walked down to Soda's stall and slipped in. He black Mustang rose his head and seemed to smile at her. Walking over he put his muzzle down for her to pet him. She began to pet his muzzle lovingly and stroked his forehead and cheeks as well. "I missed you," She whispered as she place her forehead on his muzzle. The horse to a step back as if to survey her. "Well you wanna go for a ride?" She caught a glimpse of his tail flicking back and forth once. She hurried to grab her horse tack and strap everything to her beauty. She checked to make sure Simon was ready before getting Soda out of his stall.

Simon was strapping his tack to a white mustang who Clary had named Johnny Cakes. "You ready?" Clary asked as she entered Johnny's stall.

"Just about," Simon fumbled with the girth before getting the saddle strapped correctly. "Okay, done," Simon smiled. Clary had taught him everything he needed to know about horses. New York was not a horse friendly city, so Clary didn't blame him for being so oblivious to these magnificent creatures.

"Alright, meet you out front," Clary went to get Soda. She slid the door back as a bubbly voice rang out in the barn.

"Why did we have to come here?" She remembered this voice to belong to Aline.

_Oh great.._ Clary thought. Clary looked at Soda and took a deep breath.

"Because horses are beautiful creatures," Ponyboy answered.

"Just the person I was trying to get off my mind," Clary whispered to the horse. "Well come on," Clary took the reins and walked the horse out of the barn. She spotted Jace and Aline talking to the stable hand, trying to rent horses.

"Is he mad at you?" The stable hand asked Clary.

"No just antsy to get outside, I think he did miss me a little," Clary smiled patting Soda's muzzle again. Ponyboy and Aline turned to stare at Clary.

"_You're going to ride that_?" Aline asked shocked.

"Yeah," Clary rolled her eyes, "I've had him since I was five. Isn't he beautiful?" Clary smiled affectionately at the horse.

"Yeah, beautiful," Jace whispered. Clary didn't turn to look at Ponyboy but instead looked at the stable keeper.

"Jake, I think we need to put him on a high protein diet though. He's getting a little big around the middle. My girth is out an extra inch and I don't like it. Saddle fits wrong," Clary told the stable keep while tapping the saddle.

"Can do," Jake smiled. Clary nodded and continued out the barn doors. She could feel Ponyboy's eyes on her.

"Alright Sodapop, let's get rid of some of this weight," Clary mounted her horse and took the reins. She turned Soda when she heard someone running out the doors.

"Clary!" Ponyboy yelled to her. She felt Soda tense at this loud noise. Clary patted his neck, soothing him.

"Yes?" Clary turned to look at him, her gaze annoyed.

"Can you show me and Aline around the trails? We haven't been here before," He asked and Clary wanted to scream in frustration.

"If you think you can keep up," Clary told him, and she was going to try her damnedest to leave them in the woods. Clary saw Simon give her a strange look. She watched Jake bring them out a couple of quarter horses and wanted to laugh. This was going to be too easy. She led Soda over to Simon and smiled.

"We leaving them in the woods?" Si asked.

"My thoughts exactly Si," Clary smirked.

"We going toward the waterfall or the rocks?" Simon asked.

"Waterfall, we don't want to be too rough on the poor girl," Clary laughed. Ponyboy and Aline came out on two spotted quarter horses.

"We aren't slowing down for you guys," Simon told them.

"We come out here to ride. Not to take the scenery route, keep up or don't," Clary told them and steered Soda in the correct direction.

"Do you have to be such a bitch?" Clary heard Aline ask.

"Oh I'm so leaving you guys in the woods," Clary laughed urging Soda to trot faster.

"You do realize you can't keep up with us," Simon pointed out.

"Wanna bet?" Ponyboy asked.

"Yeah _Ponyboy_," Clary smirked at him.

"Fifty sound good _Cherry_?" He asked wanting a challenge and acknowledging her nickname.

"Sounds perfect," Clary smiled at him. She was going to win this one. Soda was a fit enough to be a race horse.

"Really Jace? Making bets? This is supposed to be a date," Aline scoffed.

"Don't like it, then go home," Jace told her. Aline seemed shocked.

"Now onto the trails," Simon took the lead. Clary followed after him. She clicked her tongue twice and saw Aline turn back toward the stables. Gently nudged Johnny with his heel and Johnny broke out in a run. Soda followed and Jace was trying to catch up.

"Waterfall or rocks?" Simon asked again.

"He's been on a horse before, let's go rocks," Clary smirked. Simon nodded as a fork in the trails came up and he veered right. Clary could see the trees thinning. They were getting closer to the cliffs. She dropped back a bit to be next to Jace.

"There's a cliff up here, be careful," Clary spared a glance at him. "You do ride horses a lot don't you?" Clary asked.

"Kinda," Jace huffed as he pushed his horse to go faster. Clary clicked her tongue twice, making sure Jace's horse could hear and the horse sped up. Clary let Soda get ahead again and she could see the cliff coming up ahead of them. Clary slowed a bit and Jace did the same, not sure what to expect. They came to a halt in front of the cliff. It was about a forty of fifty foot slope into a river.

"There is a trail on the side of the cliff. It's not as safe as most people like to believe. You can turn around now if you want," Simon warned Jace.

"Psh. I can handle it," Jace gave confident smirk.

"Alright, but once you're on the trail, you are on the trail. No going back, there isn't any room to turn around," Clary told him and Jace nodded. Clary took the lead this time. Knowing this was her area of expertise. Simon followed behind Jace to make sure he wasn't going to freakout. Clary led them to a tiny trail that led along the rock side. Clary turned to watch him swallow harshly.

"Sure you don't want to back out now? It only gets worse from here," Clary said while surveying their light. It wasn't dusk yet so they would be on the other side before dark. They would take another trail back.

"I'm good," Jace answered while Clary and Simon shared a look. _Oh well. _

"Alright," Clary went on the trail without any hesitation. Jace eased the horse after her. Clary was going slower here. Not just for Jace but these trails were tricky. They tested even her as a rider. After five minutes Clary heard Jace let out a shaky breath. "You okay?" Clary glanced back.

"Yeah," Jace said, his voice cracking a bit.

"Quit lying, you are not. You are freaking out," Clary glared at him over her shoulder. She turned back and stopped abruptly. "Hold on you guys. There's a snake up here," Clary sighed and stopped Soda.

"Is that bad?" Jace asked confusion plain on his face.

"You don't ride horses very often do you? _Yes it's bad_. Most horses are afraid of them and I don't need them freaking out here," Clary got off Soda carefully. "Stay," She commanded her horse. Jace watched her walk towards said snake. She wasn't afraid, just cautious. She studied it for a moment before bending down and grasping it by the back of it's head. She took it to the edge of the cliff and threw it off the side, watching it disappear into the river below. "It wasn't poisonous. Good thing too. I forgot my gloves at the stables," Clary called to Simon as she mounted Soda again.

"Good," Simon smiled behind Jace. Clary picked the pace up a bit as they neared the end of the cliff. Then they were in the greenery again. Jace's cocky attitude was back and Clary wanted to hit him. Clary saw a straight in the trial and halted.

"Alright Ponyboy, that fifty dollars right here. Right now. To the fallen tree and across it," Clary motioned for Simon to go ahead. "It's a quarter mile," Clary told him.

"Alright," Jace smirked, pushing some golden locks out of his face. Clary smiled and waited for Simon to be at his post. Simon gave the thumbs up.

"Three," Clary stated.

"Two," Jace continued.

"One," The said in unison. Taking off together. Clary let Jace think he was ahead. His confidence evident on his face. They got about halfway to the log when Clary got bored. She clicked her tongue twice and Soda took charge. Sprinting toward the tree and passing Jace. Clary smiled as she jumped the tree.

"And Fray is the winner," Simon did dorky sport events announcing. Clary laughed and punched him in the arm.

"Whatever Lewis," Clary called him by his surname. Clary smiled at him and Simon began humming. It was a tune Clary knew, one that reminded Simon that they both had a twisted past. Clary unmounted the horse to stand in front of Johnny Cakes.

"Paint yourself a picture  
Of what you wish you looked like  
Maybe then they just might  
Feel an ounce of your pain" Clary smiled at her sadness.

"Come into focus  
Step out of the shadows  
It's a losing battle  
There's no need to be ashamed" Jace spoke up and Clary had forgotten he was there. Simon jumped down off his saddle.

"Cause they don't even know you  
All they see is scars  
They don't see the angel  
Living in your heart  
Let them find the real you  
Buried deep within  
Let them know with all you've got  
That you are not your skin  
Oh oh.." Clary felt her stomach tighten. Tears threatening her eyes.

"When they start to judge you  
Show them your true colors  
And do onto others  
As you'd have done to you" Simon sang to her now brushing her bangs out of her face. Clary blushed at him a bit. embarrassed by the show of affection he was giving her.

"Just rise above this  
Kill them with your kindness  
Ignorance is blindness  
They're the ones that stand to lose  
'Cause they don't even know you  
All they see is scars  
They don't see the angel  
Living in your heart  
Let them find the real you  
Buried deep within  
Let them know with all you got  
That you are not your skin" Clary sang out again as tears began pooling in her eyes.

"Well they don't even know you  
All they see is scars  
They don't see the angel  
Living in your heart" Simon sang again closing his eyes.

"Let them find the real you  
Buried deep within  
Let them know with all you've got  
That you are not  
You are not your skin  
Ohh Oh" Clary finally let the tears spill as she kissed the horse. Jace cleared his throat and Clary wiped her eyes quickly.

"Sorry for the terrible singing," Clary apologized.

"I've heard worse," Jace told her and she laughed. There was no amusement just a forced laugh. Simon turned to her with a worried look before pulling her into a hug.

"I didn't mean to make you cry Clare," Simon whispered but Jace heard him.

"It's just being out here. That song. All of it. It's getting to me," Clary wasn't pointing out Jace because that would just make her a bitch.

"And that dream," Simon whispered to where Jace couldn't hear. Clary nodded and groaned.

"God Dammit," Clary yelled fisting her hand in her hair. She pictured Jonathan standing before her. In this very spot. Smiling a waiting for her to catch up. "Why are we out here Si? Why did you let me bring you out here?" Clary shook her head.

"Let's go home then, Clare-bear," Simon told her, hugging her again.

"I need to do something first," Clary sighed, mounting her horse again. "Jace. Follow this trail it'll bring you back to the fork in the trails. Head back to the stables," Clary told him as she went down an almost non-existent trail branching off into the woods.

Jace watched her. The ache in her voice causing his stomach to clench. _What is that? _he asked contemplated going back to the stables, but that was too easy. After a moment he took off down the trail Clary and Simon had taken. He trotted for a moment before he heard talking. He prayed his horse wouldn't step on a branch. Then he stopped the horse. Tied it to a branch and followed the voices. A cast iron gate stood out of place in the woods. He could see Clary's bright red hair and felt his stomach clench again. _What the fuck is that? _Jace wanted to sigh but kept quiet. He got as close as he could and saw Clary was kneeling in front of a gravestone on her knees. Her hand lay ontop of it, her head pressed against the name. Jace couldn't read it.

"I am so sorry," He heard her say. "This is all my fault. Jon, you know it should have been me instead of you," Clary seemed so sure. Her voice didn't crack but guilt soaked her. It was hidden in her eyes, the way she held herself screamed it. She hid it well at school but Jace could see now that this was Clary. Broken. Bleeding. Guilty.

Jace didn't know what she was guilty of but he was going to find out. He would know what this was about. He saw Clary stand and wipe her eyes.

"I love you," He heard her say. Simon hugged her tightly.

"I'll take care of her Jon," Simon smiled at the headstone. Clary hit him in the stomach.

"Making fun of me is not the way to cheer me up right now," She said while laughing.

"Yeah it is," He smiled down at her and gently kissed her forehead.

"You know if he was still here, he would have loved you. Like a brother and best friend. Like I do," Clary told Simon.

"Or he'd try to beat the living hell out of me," Simon told her, this caused Clary to giggle again.

Clary's cheeks were still stained with tears and this only made Jace want to help her more. He hated crying females, almost as much as he hated ducks. ALMOST. But seeing Clary crying and broken tore him to pieces in that moment. He resisted the urge to hold her, to comfort her. When Simon and Clary made their way back to their horses Jace could hardly tell anything was wrong. The fled in the direction away from him and Jace went to the gravestone.

_Jonathan Christopher Morgenstern  
1990-2005_

Jace stared at the name, quite shocked. They had the same name. Who was he to Clary though. He died when she was eight or nine. He had been fifteen. Cousin maybe? They didn't have the same last name. Jace stood there trying to figure this out and took out his phone. He took a quick picture of the gravestone and decided there had to be something on Google about it. There always is.

* * *

_**Okay sooooooo. Don't kill me. The horses are also Outsiders references. Hehe. One of my reviews said they like Sodapop better than Ponyboy so I had to put something in there somewhere for you. Hehehe. Hope you all enjoy it. **_

_**The song was Scars - Sixx AM.**_

_**I was listening to my iPod while writing and knew that this had to go in the story. The grave scene was unplanned but I fit it in here well. Hehe. **_

_**And we are finding out more about Jonathan. Even though he's dead he plays a key role in my story. He is very very very important so let me know some of your theories. I love to hear them.**_

_**Please Review for me. Love you guys,** _

_**Crystal Hikari Hikachu**_


	4. Chapter 4

_**Okay so I've been posting a chapter every day since I put this story up, the words are just coming so fast, but I feel this chapter and the next few might not come so quickly. I'm so happy everyone likes it so much. I'm a reader who usually focuses on word count (I don't know who else is this way but I am) and I'm trying to put up chapters of a decent length. **_

_**Anyways... **_

_**Onto Cherry..**_

* * *

Clary didn't want to sleep that night. Knowing the dreams would return. Knowing she'd be forced to face this again and again until it drove her insane. She could feel the guilt settle in the pit of her stomach the way it always did after she visited the cemetery.

"Clare? You okay?" Simon knocked on her door.

"No," Clary answered as he walked into the room. Clary moved over to the other side of the bed so Simon could slip under the covers. It seemed ritualistic to Clary, when they would get back Simon would come sleep in her bed with her to keep the dreams away, every single time. Clary cuddled into his side and he draped an arm around her shoulders.

"Are you going to be okay?" Simon asked after a long moment of silence.

"I don't know," Clary told him truthfully.

"Do you want me to leave?" Simon asked. He always felt the need to ask. This caused Clary to hold onto his shirt tightly.

"Don't leave me Si," She told him and he smiled.

"Never," He told her and she relaxed. Simon turned toward her and watch her slowly drift into unconsciousness. He green eyes were glossy as she tried to stay awake and Simon began to hum once again. He watched as Clary's eyes finally closed and her breathing slowed. She was breathing evenly, a good sign. She wasn't having any nightmares yet. Simon lifted his free hand to brush Clary's bangs out of her eyes. Her already deathly pale skin looked almost translucent in the moonlight filtering in from the window. Her crimson locks seemed muted, more silver than the fiery orange they always were.

Simon wrapped his arms around her, pulling her close and felt himself slipping. He laid his head on top of hers and felt the darkness consuming him. He felt weightless, yet anchored by the red-head in his arms. He could feel her becoming restless with her first REM cycle and he held her a bit tighter.

"Please, don't leave," She whispered and Simon let her hold onto his shirt.

Clary was dreaming, but it wasn't a normal dream. She was in the forest again. Like she was earlier. The log lay in front of her, but a boy sat on top of it. He looked about twenty three. White blonde hair was falling in his face and he was wearing worn blue jeans as well as a tight white T-shirt. He looked up at her and smiled, but she didn't know who this man was. His face fell an he nodded.

"I guess it has been a while, hasn't it Clare-bear?" He was holding something in his hands.

"Jon?" Clary asked in barely a whisper.

"Yeah. It's me," He smiled at her again. This could only be a dream. He was dead, always would be. "Yes it is a dream, but I am here. I'm here to talk to you Clary," He took a deep breath. Not sure where to start. "I don't blame you," He told her first off. "Sure I'm kind of bummed about the whole dead thing, but it's not that bad Clary. I get to watch you and Mom. Make sure you guys are safe," He gave her a weak smile. Clary ran forward and hugged him. He hugged her back. At least in her dreams she could hug him.

"You've been watching me?" Clary asked as she breathed against his neck and he nodded.

"You and Simon. Even though I never met him, I see how much you mean to each other. I wouldn't let anything happen to either of you," Jonathan told her and she smiled.

"I love you," Clary told him and he kissed her forehead.

"I love you too," He smiled at her. He let her sit in his lap while he continued to hug her.

"So what's it like being dead?" Clary asked with a laugh.

"Tiring to say the least," Jonathan laughed and she laughed with him. Jon held something in front of her. It was a necklace, with a sun pendant on it. Clary just stared at it for a moment. "You have noticed that you find things on your birthday every year, right?" He looked at her with a smile. Clary nodded. "Those are gifts from me. This is a gift as well, but you'll have to come out here to get it," Jon placed it in the hollow tree trunk.

"Jon. I'm sorry though. About everything. I didn't mean to," Clary began crying and Jonathan shushed her.

"Clare it wasn't your fault. It wasn't. Don't blame yourself. I took responsibility because I love you. I wouldn't have done anything differently. And you have to believe that," Jonathan looked her in the eyes seriously. She didn't know if this was really his spirit talking to her or a figment of her imagination but either way she was going to the trails tomorrow to figure it out.

"But it was my fault," Clary told him and he shook his head.

"You were nine years old and Valentine is an asshole. That's the entirety of it Clary. You are guilt free. Know that I don't blame you. Know that I still love you, and know that I always will," Jonathan told her and he stroked her hair. "And I'll always be with you," He told her and she nodded. He got up and set her on the log.

"Please, don't leave," She begged and his smile faded.

"I have to Clary. I'm already breaking rules. I'll get into trouble for this, and I'll get yelled at with a smile on my face because you mean more to me, my beloved baby sister," Jonathan turned toward the small trail that would lead to his grave and Clary began crying. When she awoke Simon was looking down at her. She sat up and touched her face. It was wet. That dream had been too real.

"We're going back to the trails tomorrow," Clary told Simon who nodded. Clary took a deep breath and laid back down. Simon let her cuddle into him again. She laid her head on his shoulder and felt his arm wrap around her tightly.

"I love you Clary," Simon told her and she smiled.

"I love you too Si," She fell asleep again. She wasn't assaulted with her usual dreams, but instead was graced with a view of Ponyboy. He was standing before her, in only a pair of board shorts. His hair was dripping wet, curling at his temples and looked like a mess atop his head. Clary laughed, she was in a bikini in front of him and he grabbed her around the waist. Pulling them both into an in ground pool. They both resurfaced and Jace smiled at her.

"Wake up Clary," But the voice didn't belong to Jace, it belonged to Simon. She slowly drifted from her dream and looked up at Simon. The room was bright now. The sun was up and Clary cast a glance at her alarm clock. 6:00 blinked innocently. She groaned and crawled over to her bathroom. She jumped in the shower and washed quickly, making sure to leave hot water for Simon. She jumped out and quickly pulled her tangled curls into a messy bun. She came out of her bathroom in a towel to find her room empty. She got dressed quickly in a pair of grey blue jeans and a black tank top. She grabbed a white button up and pulled it on. She grabbed her bags and keys before running downstairs. She made a bowl of cereal quickly to find her mother was up this morning.

"Hey mom, you're up early," Clary sat beside her with her bowl. Simon came down the stairs and ate quickly before they had to leave for school.

"Yeah, I couldn't sleep. Strange dreams," She was holding something in her hands looking at it with a blank expression.

"Jonathan?" Clary asked and Jocelyn looked at her wide eyed before nodding her head. "Yeah, Me too," Clary smiled at her. Jocelyn forced a smile as well before they left the house. Clary drove to school quickly and her car was once again assaulted by people wanting to test-drive it. Clary ignored every one of them and stalked right passed Jace. He was leaning against the hood of his Charger watching her with a different girl under his arm. Clary rolled her eyes and walked to her locker. She heard the first bell ring and hurried with Simon to thier Chemistry class. She sat down and Simon sat behind her. Jace walked in with Aline stalking behind him. She looked pissed. Jace made his way down the row as he pulled out fifty dollars.

"For the ride last night," Jace winked at her. Clary laughed and nodded as she took the money from him.

"Man of his word," Clary put the money in her purse. She looked up to see people staring at her. _Oh god..They think I'm a prostitute. Oh well... _Clary laughed to herself and turned to talk to Simon. He was shaking his head and laughing. "I don't even care. I'm fifty dollars richer and they can think what they want," Clary rolled her eyes and Simon laughed harder.

"It's sad because they really think you would degrade yourself like the rest of the whores around here," Simon told her as he wiped his eyes.

"Zero fucks given," Clary told him as she turned to grab her sketch book.

* * *

_**Okay. Everyone thinks Clary is a whore now. Yay! Maybe a chapter from Jace's point of view soon. I will have more Clace moments in the next few chapters, promise.  
**_

_**Review for me. Love you all,**_

_**Crystal Hikari Hikachu**_


	5. Chapter 5

_**Okay so some sexy moments. Just to let you know! Hehe I hope you guys like it. Kinda short for my liking but it's in Jace's point of view so you guys can be happy.  
**_

* * *

Jace didn't want to remove himself from the warm comfort of his bed. He need to though. The sun was filtering through his blinds and he knew he needed to get ready. He rolled over with a grunt to open his bedside table. He dug for a small silver box. When he retrieved it he put two pale blue pills on his tongue and swallowed them effortlessly. He laid in bed for ten minutes before he felt the pain pills haze his senses.

Jace pushed himself out of bed and half staggered to the bathroom. He brushed his teeth and looked into the mirror for a long moment. Scars covered his torso. Large and small. Faded and new. Reminders of his past that he tried so hard to leave behind. He forced himself away from the mirror and into the shower that awaited him. The scalding water greeted him and he gave a low hum of approval as the water coated his body. When he was satisfied with the shower he turned the water off and placed his forehead against the pale tiles.

He jerked a towel from the shelf and wrapped it around his waist loosely. He almost tripped in the hallway as he went back to his room. Maybe he shouldn't have taken two this morning. He shrugged and pulled on a pair of dark jeans and a grey T-shirt. Jace forced his hand through his golden lock forcefully and took a deep breath.

Jace found his mind roaming in the haze of his drugs to a certain girl. Flaming wild hair and emerald eyes. Pale skin and an attitude that could cut him in half. Why was he thinking of her? _I should go get Kaelie for school. I need a distraction. _He thought as he descended the stairs. It was only 6:15 and Kaelie's parents always left the house by 5:30. He shot her a quick text and smiled as she told him to hurry. He could get a quick lay before school and all would be right in the world. He grabbed the keys to his Charger and drove over quickly. Not even bothering to tell anyone he'd left.

He was greeted at the door by Kaelie, who had yet to even put on clothes after her shower. He leaned down and pressed his lips harshly against hers as he kicked his shoes off by the front door. He didn't care if she liked it, she would just have to deal with it. Kaelie's hands lifted the hem of his shirt up and over his head. He broke the kiss and began kissing her neck and collar bone as he lift her up. Her legs wrapped around his hips and he smirked and he bit her and was rewarded with a moan. Jace found himself wondering if Clary's moans sounded like that. If she would be this easy to please.

Jace slowly walked down the hallway and into a room he knew was Kaelie's. He threw her onto the bed without a care and crawled on top of her. He felt her hands on the rim of his jeans. Pulling their hips together. Jace groaned at the pressure and let her undo his jeans. She pushed them down and he let them slide off to the ground. His boxers were already tented and he felt her palm his erection. He let his eyes slide shut as his mind wandered again to the red head he didn't want to think about. Would she be this eager in bed, or was she the type who would want to take it slow? He was pulled from his thoughts as Kaelie pulled his boxers off in a swift motion and tossed him a condom. Her towel had been discarded to the floor with his pants and boxers. Jace stared at the condom for a moment and ripped it open.

* * *

Jace walked out of Kaelie's house feeling refreshed as she locked the door behind them. He walked out to his car and waited on Kaelie to follow. She climbed in and the clock on his dash said 7:30. They had thirty minutes to get to school. Jace smiled and pulled into the parking lot. He sat on the hood of his beauty while pulling on his leather jacket and watched as people came up to talk to him. Kaelie was beside him the entire time and was starting to annoy him. Jace saw the black Nissan Skyline pull in and people were craning to get a look at the driver today. Clary stepped out with her brother. He wild locks were tied up in a messy bun, several pieces falling to frame her face. She was wearing a monochromatic piece. Grey pants and a white collared shirt open to reveal a black tank top. It made her hair stand out even more against her perfectly pale skin. She glanced his way and he turned back to someone else as they began talking again.

The bell rang out and Jace lazily made his way to class. Hoping Kaelie would leave him alone soon. He grabbed a notebook out of his locker and walked toward his class. Chemistry. They had to give it to him first period.

"What the hell is up with you Jace Herondale?" Aline stalked over to him.

"What ever do you mean?" Jace asked cracking a cocky grin. He never told a girl they were exclusive. He never hung a relationship in their faces, because he didn't want one.

"You totally ditching me last night!" Aline told him, crossing her arms over her chest.

"You're the one who left," Jace shrugged as he walked around her.

"Because you're completely unbelievable. You can't stop to be sincere for one moment," Aline told him and this caused him to stop dead in his tracks.

"Maybe it's not me Aline. Maybe it's you," Jace didn't turn to look at her as he walked away. Finally making it to class. He spotted Clary in the back of the room and made his way down an aisle toward her. He dug the fifty dollars he owed her out of his wallet. He handed it to her with a grin.

"For the ride last night," He winked at her as she took the money.

"Man of his word," She chuckled and shoved the money in her purse. Jace turned to walk away as Clary turned to look at Simon.

"I don't even care," And Simon snickered at her. Jace sat down in his seat next to Sebastian and turned to look at the board.

"So man. You hit that already?" Sebastian motioned to Clary over his shoulder.

"No. Just owe her money from a bet," Jace stated as he opened his notebook. Sebastian just gave him a look that said **_Yeah right._** Jace didn't care if he believed him or not. The final bell rang and the teacher made his appearance. Jace turned slightly to glance back at the red head who was staring down at her notebook intently. She didn't seem to be listening to the teacher. Her hand was holding a pencil a was drawing large lines along her paper. _What is she doing? _Jace wondered but her head lifted and their eyes locked for only moment before he looked away, slightly embarrassed that he'd been caught staring. His stomach tightened as he felt Clary's eyes watching him. _Why does it keep doing that?_ He wondered and sighed. He kept getting this feeling around her. What was she doing to him? He couldn't stop thinking about her. Couldn't stop looking at her.

He shook his head. He needed to forget about her. She wouldn't understand him. Wouldn't be able to deal with him if she knew the truth. He pulled a water bottle out of his backpack and took a swig. The bite of pure vodka burned his throat and he let the haze wash over him again. Perhaps she was just an infatuation he could please himself with. Yes. She could serve the purpose every other girl did, but he could not allow himself to get close to her.

_She was just any other girl._

**_No she's not!_**A voice in his brain screamed. He took another swig from his bottle before placing it back in his bag. _She's just any other girl. _The voice didn't argue this time.

* * *

**_So no Clace moments. Sorry about that but we needed to see what's going on with Jace. Don't hurt me!  
_**


	6. Chapter 6

_**Okay soooo I have a few surprises for you guys this chapter. We learn a bit more about Simon :) Enjoy!**_

* * *

Clary sat in her last class of the day. She watched the clock like time would back track if she didn't watch closely. After forty five agonizing minutes she rushed to the parking lot. Simon was already there when she reached the Nissan. She jumped in and was the first person out of the lot. She drove quickly over to the stables and almost ran to get Soda. She almost haphazardly put her tack on her horse then help Simon with his. Clary led Simon back to the same fallen tree they had been at yesterday. Simon didn't ask questions just watched as she sat down on the tree.

Carefully Clary stuck her hand in a hole of the hollow tree. Her fingers reached for something she wasn't quite sure she would find. And her fingers barely grazed something metal. She wrapped her phalanges around it and gently pulled the necklace to her. She stared at it. It was the same thing Jon had been holding last night in her dream. A sun pendent hung from a silver chain. Amber and emeralds dotted the piece of jewelery making it reflect light in various rainbows around her.

"He was here Si," Clary spoke softly. As if not to frighten her best friend. "Jon told me this would be here. He was here Si," Clary repeated. Simon didn't say anything, just nodded his head. Clary put the necklace on and smiled at the pendent. Perhaps she wasn't crazy, and perhaps she could go on with her life.

They headed home swiftly after that and Clary wanted nothing more than to sleep. She was tired of all the self loathing. She was tired of the depression, but now that she knew Jon didn't blame her; maybe she could get on with her she wasn't entirely to blame for her brother's death.

* * *

Jace laid on his bed. His hair sticking to his face from the hot shower he'd had moments before. A towel was wrapped around his hips. He let out a sigh and closed his eyes. His vision was assaulted by images of a broken girl kneeling before a gravestone. Her voice broken and defeated, guilt showing in her posture. He remembered the ache he'd felt when she'd apologized to this person who shared his name.

He pulled on a pair of shorts quickly and grabbed his laptop from his desk. He laid on his stomach as he typed the name into Google. Jonathan Christopher Morgenstern. He knew he shouldn't be doing this, he should just ask Clary but he needed to know.

He scrolled through the results. A few Facebook profiles and one news article that struck him hard. "Teen Bludgeoned to Death And Shot on Idris Farm." He clicked the link and a picture of a blonde boy was displayed on the screen. He was smiling, dark eyes set on the camera hid a secret he wasn't willing to share. Jace swallowed hard as he scrolled to the article.

**_Teen, Jonathan Morgenstern, was found in the late evening of July 28, 2005 by a neighbor who came to investigate a rare gun shot in the Idris country side._ _The neighbor immediately called an ambulance and the police to care for the boy. When statements were received from the family the Mother of the boy, Jocelyn Morgenstern, told police that her husband was strict but would never do something like this._**

Jace continued reading and found a picture of the funeral. A small girl was hugging her mother's leg while crying. Bright fiery red hair graced both of their heads and the child was unmistakeably Clary. Perhaps there was more to the story than anyone else believed. He continued reading.

_**Jonathan's father has been arrested for the murder of his son and is being put on trial in August.** _

Jace didn't know what to think of this. There was an update on the trial and he clicked on it.

**_Valentine Morgenstern has been charged with a life sentence after being found guilty of murdering his 15 year old son._**

_At least some kind of justice had been served._ Jace thought triumphantly. _But why would Clary think of Jonathan's death as her own fault?_ Jace wondered. He pushed the computer away and sighed. This was too much for him to think about. He needed for someone to fill in the blanks. Maybe he could talk to Simon. The boy was her brother after all.

* * *

"Si! Come eat!" Clary called up the stairs. Simon trudged down the stairs and smiled at her.

"Have a nice nap?" Simon asked. Clary nodded as a reply and smiled at him.

"I made tacos," Clary gestured to the bowls in front of her. They proceeded to fill their taco shells with meat and other accessories. They sat at the breakfast bar to eat when Luke and their mom descended the stairs.

"Something smells like food," Luke stated with a smirk.

"That would be food," Simon told him and both men laughed. Jocelyn just rolled her eyes and picked up a taco shell. Jocelyn gave Luke a pointed look and the older male sighed.

"There's something we need to talk about guys," Luke started and Clary gave him a suspicious look.

"Simon's birthday is coming up in a few weeks and there are going to be some adjustments that are going to be made," Jocelyn was dancing around a certain topic.

"You're not throwing me out are you?" Simon asked as he swallowed a bite of his taco.

"Never," Jocelyn and Luke answered in unison.

"It's just we've been keeping something from you Simon. We didn't want it to affect your attitude growing up," Jocelyn told him and Simon nodded.

"Did you know that your parents were very wealthy people Simon?" Luke asked and Simon gave him a confused look.

"What do you mean by very wealthy? Like a hundred thousand dollars in savings?" Simon asked.

"No and you have to understand that this is not why we adopted you Simon. We found out after you were already apart of the family," Jocelyn was trying to cover all the bases before they unloaded everything on him.

"Will you just spit it out already," Clary said. Speaking for Simon who looked like a deer in headlights.

"You'll be inheriting 1.7 billion dollars," Luke told him and both children looked at him as if he was losing his mind.

"You're kidding," Simon's eyes widened. Both parents shook their heads. "I-I- um- excuse me," Simon ran up the stairs to his room.

"Really?" Clary looked as shocked as Simon.

"We didn't want him to let the money affect him. Some people think they are better because of money and we wanted Simon to lead a normal life," Jocelyn told her. Clary got up from her seat and went to see if Simon was okay. She gently knocked on his door. She listened carefully for anything on the other side of the door. She opened it to find Simon sitting on the edge of his bed, his back to the door. He had taken his shirt off and was staring at his hands intently.

"You okay Si?" She asked softly. She watched him nod his head. She closed the door behind her and made her way across the room. She gently touched his bare shoulder and felt him flinch for the first time. "Simon?" Clary sat next to him. He turned and the look in his eyes was one of relief. She had never seen him look like this.

"I thought they were going to tell me to leave," Simon's breathing was ragged.

"They would never do that Si," Clary told him and watched as he closed his eyes. He gently nodded his head and let out another shaking breath.

"I've been so afraid that if they did kick me out I would have no where to go. Nothing to my name and no money to start a new life. I wouldn't have enough money for school or food. I was so scared that I would be left on the streets," Simon bit his bottom lip. Clary felt for him at that moment. Wanted him to stop being so scared, he wasn't going anywhere. She pulled him toward her and wrapped her arms around his chest.

"Simon. You aren't going anywhere," Clary told him with finality and his arms wrapped around her.

"I know," He whispered and hugged her to him tightly.

* * *

_**Okay so Simon is rich also.** **I wanted to create a side to our beloved characters that no one has seen before and I hope I'm doing a good job... I'm a little nervous about this chapter but hey! Friday has to come soon, right?**_

_**I love you guys. Please Review, Favorite and Alert for me!**_

_**Love,  
Crystal Hikari Hikachu**_


	7. Chapter 7

_**Okay about Simon being rich- I know it's a little weird that he doesn't know, but life insurance pays triple if you die on a business trip, and with interest in the bank and both of his parents dying it's safe to say that they didn't have this much money when he was a child, but we will get to this later. Now is a Simon moment where we learn a bit about his family.**_

**_Also on a side note. My best friend and I are writing a Infernal Devices Mortal Instruments mash up. We're taking out Clary and Tessa and putting in our own OCs and writing a twisted plot that involves both Mortmain and Sebastian. Let me know what you guys would like to see in a Shadowhunter fic. Love you guys!  
_**

* * *

Simon sat on his bed after Clary left and thought about how everything made sense now. Parts of his childhood seemed to make a lot more sense now.

He thought back to his parents who always had been on business trips, or out of the country. Simon never assumed they made much money, but the family never struggled. Simon never heard his mother and father arguing over bills and money. They always argued for entirely different reasons.

His parents had never flaunted their money in any way. An average sized two story house and three cars. Nothing too lavish when you thought about it. A nice truck that his father always drove, a mini van that had been used by the babysitter to take Simon and his sister where ever they had wanted to go, and a full sized sedan his mother always drove. Simon thought back to the baby sitter, he must have forgotten that she'd lived with them. A nanny. He'd had a nanny.

She'd been a woman in her early thirties. Dark brown hair and grey eyes. He could feel her name on the tip of her tongue, but he couldn't seem to remember it. He couldn't remember his parents' faces and he couldn't even remember the name of the woman who had raised him in their place. What was wrong with him?

He put his head in his hands and took a deep breath. He was overwhelmed. The fact that he couldn't remember was suffocating him. He felt like he couldn't breathe. He felt the itch on his finger tip, the ache on his skin and tried to push it away. He would not give in to his impulses. He would not take a step backward. He sat there, head in his hands, trying to regulate his breathing until he felt like he was being smothered. He stared down at his wrists for the hundredth time and eyed the scars on his wrist. The faded memories of his weakness.

Slowly, almost hesitantly he reached into his bedside drawer for his razor blade. When he pulled it out he looked at it. Knowing that if Clary saw him that she would be mad. She would be hurt that he didn't come to her, but at that moment he pushed those thoughts aside and dragged the blade across one of his old scars.

The bite of the razor brought the euphoria he sought. He took a deep breath and let the smell of the blood wash over him. His breathing slowed and he slid the blade across another scar. He smiled and let out a shaking breath. It had been so long since his last relapse. He placed one more cut on his wrist before placing the razor in his drawer. The euphoria was ebbing until the cuts coagulated. The blood on his wrist and arm was a mess. He grabbed a dark towel from his floor and wiped up the drying blood as best he could before pulling on his jacket.

* * *

_**Okay sorry about the extremely short chapter but this is about as much as I can get out of it. Simon's parents didn't flaunt their money. They wanted the kids to grow up rather normally.**_

_**Please Review, Alert, Favorite or whatever. I just love feedback from you guys. Thanks, I love you all,  
Crystal Hikari Hikachu  
**_


	8. Chapter 8

**_Okay, I am so sorry this has taken forever you guys, but I recently moved out (About six weeks ago) and have been living with my best friend and her family. I've been trying to get some sort of inspiration for this but the writer's block has been holding true. Maybe by the end of this chapter I'll finally have a decent Clace moment. We can all hope, right? _**

**_Anyway, the movie OO... I had my issues *cough* Jamie's eyes aren't the right color *cough* but also I feel that Lily is too pretty to play Clary compared to Jemima (My opinion) Izzy is supposed to be prettier than Clary and Jemima is beautiful but not exactly what I was expecting. Jamie did a way better job at playing Jace than I honestly thought he would (I was mentally screaming the entire time.) But for those who haven't seen the movie, it was good, not exactly like the book (which is kind of a good thing, gives us nerds some surprise) and I'm not going to ruin it for you. If you'd like to have a constructive conversation about the movie vs. the book just PM me. I'm an easy going person. I'd love to talk to you guys._**

**_But on ward to the story._**

* * *

Clary laid on her back, the ceiling above her bed impossibly far away. Music boomed in her ears, soft melodies and deep voices calming her. She took a deep breath, her fingers tangling in the chain of necklace around her throat. She was trying not to think too hard, trying not to over analyze what had happened. Clary couldn't stand it any longer. She sat up, casting a glance at the clock on her night stand, 11:53 the clock blinked innocently. The red-head pushed back a sigh and removed herself from her bed.

Clary stepped into the hallway as quietly as she could. Everything around her was dark, casting eerie shadows in every corner. Clary didn't want to think, she wanted her mind to be blank for once, not asking the questions that haunted the very recesses of her brain. _Why him and not me? _Clary ran a hand through her hair and let out a sigh. As Clary creeped down the stairs she could feel a presence. Immediately she thought of Jonathan.

"Brother?" Clary whispered, her voice sounding formal to her own ears. There wasn't a sound or a knock to her question. There was no breeze, there was nothing abnormal at that moment, but Clary knew he was there. Clary walked to the kitchen, filling a glass with water. She took a sip and let the liquid hydrate her. She heard footsteps descending the stairs. Clary didn't turn to see who it was.

"Clary?" Simon's voice was hushed, husky from sleep and slightly surprised. She turned to give him a smile.

"Yeah,"Clary whispered back and Simon nodded his head as he grabbed a glass from the cupboard. Simon looked much older without his glasses. You could see the hard set of his jaw instead of a timid smile, the way his wavy hair fell in his face to annoy him, and the crease he got in his forehead when he concentrated. All these traits seemed masked when the glasses sat on his nose. Clary blushed, not knowing why she was staring at him. "Couldn't sleep?" She asked him and he nodded.

"Thinking too much," He told her and she nodded.

"Me too," She looked at her feet, the silence becoming slightly awkward. Clary was about to ask if he'd stay with her tonight, but Simon leaned over and kissed her forehead before retreating back to his room. She bit her lip and let out another sigh. She wouldn't get much sleep tonight.

* * *

Jace turned in his sleep, the image of Jonathan Morgenstern playing in his mind. He didn't know why the story bothered him so much. But when he watched the boy fall to his knees before a faceless man, a gun to the back of his head, Jace began to panic. His mouth opened to call out to the boy, but no sound escape him. Jace watched the man, Valentine, pull the trigger and Jonathan fell to the ground, dirt and blood matting his white blonde hair.

"No," Jace whispered, sitting up abruptly in his bed. Jace ran a hand through his own locks damp with sweat. He shook his head before going to the bathroom to wash his face. Jace leaned over the bathroom sink, gazing into the mirror at a reflection he didn't recognize. He had bags under his eyes, he was paler than he usually was, and he was losing weight. He sighed, knowing he should try to get some sleep, but could find a good enough reason. He opened a dresser drawer and dug out a wooden box engraved with a silver bird. He opened the box to reveal a dozen or so orange pill bottles. He found the one he wanted and took two without a second thought. He put the box back as he felt a rush of energy. He felt empowered, as if he could do anything.

He lay back on his bed, staring up at the ceiling, his mind reverting back to the dream. Why had he dreamed of that boy? Why did this seem to haunt him? As if he couldn't escape the thoughts until he knew who he was exactly. _I'll talk to Simon then _Jace determined.

* * *

Clary heard the buzzing of her alarm and groaned. She had woken up every hour, on the hour, all night. She rolled off her bed and trudged into the bathroom as she did every morning, but it seemed different this time. She cast a glance around the bathroom before shrugging her shoulders and turning the shower on. She got dressed at a sluggish pace and walked down stairs to see Simon already sitting at the breakfast bar, an empty bowl in front of him. She shot a glance at the clock. Had she really taken thirty extra minutes this morning and would have to skip out on breakfast. She sighed before grabbing a pop tart from the pantry.

"Let's go," Clary muttered as she made her way to the Nissan. Simon didn't protest and followed her silently. Clary hardly remembered the drive to school until she was pulling into her parking space. Clary didn't want to be at this hell. She didn't want to have to deal with all of the ignorant people. She placed her forehead against the steering wheel before Simon gave her a worried look.

"You okay?" Simon asked and Clary nodded.

"Fine," She told him as she opened the car door and forced her feet to carry her out of the vehicle. Clary stared down at the ground, looped her arm with Simon's, and told herself she would be able to get through the day. At least she hoped she could get through the day. With a forced sigh she went to her locker. She could feel someone watching her, but didn't care enough to look. She grabbed up her books for Chemistry and scurried down the hall.

* * *

**_Okay guys. I am super sorry that it's so short but hopefully I can get another chapter up soon. Review this for me. Sizzy soon, as well as Clace (Because I know where I need to go, it's just getting there that's the problem)_**

**_And if you haven't gotten the chance I've put up three chapters of Infernal Instruments. Let me know how you like it :) _**

**_Anyways I love you all,  
_**

**_Crystal Hikari Hikachu_**


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